Maybe I misunderstood your meaning here:

> The problem is not with society as a whole, but with people as individuals. Sure, you should be able to get a job while going to the interview in a wedding dress — but you’d be stupid to complain if you don’t get the job.

Whether you mean to or not, you are claiming that "acting black" is similar to showing up to a job interview wearing something completely unfit for work. This is an ignorant claim. An individual black person could act more white in order to move up in society, but that doesn't solve the problem of racism, it just hides it.

We wouldn't trigger anyone's xenophobia if everyone behaved similarly, but that doesn't mean we've "solved" xenophobia. The problem is the violent bullies (and the culture that CREATES violent bullies), not the people wearing their pants in their socks.